When two parents divorce, the court often steps in to help determine a custody arrangement that meets the needs of their children in a variety of ways. For a lot of parents, that can mean splitting up the week or the month down the middle.
One mom recently shared on Reddit that she and her ex have opted to split their week up. Their daughter spends half the week with one parent and half with the other, which makes things consistent and reliable. The mom says she prefers to stick to this arrangement no matter what, and that’s caused a recent rift that could have been avoided completely.
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The main issue is about her ex’s dog.
The mom shares that the center of this tale is her ex-husband’s dog:
“When we were together, shortly after Claire was born, Brian got a dog. This dog was not young then, 6 or 7, and now must be ancient. Claire loves this dog, and I’ve tried to indulge that as much as possible and the days I have her Brian will let Claire video call with him and the dog which I think is a bit extreme but to each their own.”
The dog is dying, and her ex wanted their daughter to be able to say goodbye.
“Brian contacted me this morning saying that he had to put the dog down tomorrow, and asked if he could pick up Claire a day early so she could say goodbye,” the mom continued.
“I told him I didn’t want to do that and didn’t think it was a good idea to go against court ordered custody, and since he wouldn’t watch her when I had a work emergency I didn’t see why this was different.”
The mom refused, and her ex thinks that’s too far.
“He said I was being overly dramatic and petty and cruel to not let Claire see her dog.
“I don’t think I’m wrong because we’ve already set the standard that we’re sticking to the court ordered custody.
“But he’s sent me several texts saying that I should let Claire be there, and even told her what was going on which IMO was overstepping and I don’t think it’s right for him to contact her behind my back about something involving our coparenting.”
People were quick to talk the mom down.
Plenty of people pointed out that the mom seems pretty focused on her ex and not their daughter.
One commenter wrote, “It’s unfathomably cruel.
“She wants revenge on her ex, it’s about control. Her spite is more important than her kid’s emotional well being.”
Another person pointed out that the mom’s issues run deep.
A second person agreed, writing, “The whole post is about issues she has with her ex, keeping score and trying to get back at him in the pettiest of ways. Nothing about her daughter’s feelings, except annoyance that ‘now she knows’, while claiming the father has no right to contact his own daughter ‘behind OP’s [the original poster’s] back’. The kid is nothing but a pawn to be used against the ex.
“I’d say it’s pretty obvious she has no interest in having anything resembling a healthy and caring relationship with her own daughter.”
Luckily, the mom ended up agreeing with them.
Fortunately for everyone involved, the mom realized she was making a mistake. She updated the post and added, “I thought about it some more and read some of the replies and I realized I was being short sighted and taking out my frustration from the past in a way that would only negatively affect my daughter. I’ve talked to Brian and we’ve made the agreement that he will pick her up tomorrow to say goodbye and drop her off a day early.”